Never look down on anyone.

Lola came from a background that believes in values, though not from a wealthy background, yet she believes she has a bright future ahead of her. She met Alex her husband in the university, he was a young man then with lots of life and committed to the things of God. She observed that he was focused, goal oriented, and optimist about his future with the sound believe that the Lord will take care of it if he keeps doing His will. He proposed, and she gave her consent despite the fact that he was also going through challenges in the area of finance.

Today her choice had paid off; Alex is a good husband to her and a good father to their children. He is still committed to the things of God which he does passionately, God has also been faithful to him in that he was promoted as on of the executive director of the organization that he works with.

You may have come across people who told you the story of a poor beginning and how they didn’t despise their hubby when he came proposing and today they are grateful for getting married to him. The same can also be your story.

Women- are usually attracted to security (a man with a good job, house, car, and who can meet their needs etc.) and will often look down on a man that has nothing tangible that can meet their needs.

Men- on the other hand, tend to go/look for trendy, attractive, and homely ladies. They often look down on ladies who are big in size or less attractive.

King Solomon said, “A person without good sense says bad things about his neighbors. But a wise man knows when to be quiet.” Proverbs 11:12

Some singles have lost treasures that would have been a blessing to their future because they paid too much attention to the container at the neglect of the content. Confucius said, “Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.”

Femi Fasanya is a talented author and speaker with a message that transcends barriers of age, culture and status. He is a TV presenter and a celebrated speaker in seminars. He is the founder of Singles Affair Ministry and is happily married to Doyin. He can be reached through the following relationshipmatters@gmail.com and 08037257479, for counseling.

Never seek the spectacular in finding a partner.

Tony believes in being spiritual in all that he does, he prays for practically everything that he does, and when he receives a manifestation on the issue, he believes that it was the Lord that is responding to his prayer.

When he met Tola, he prayed over the issue and had a dream which he saw them going to church for the marriage ceremony. He accepted it as God’s will, despite the glaring evidence that she was not a committed Christian. He proposed, and she gave him an affirmative answer. Three years after marriage, Tony became frustrated with the marriage; for the three years of marriage, his wife has gone against everything he perceived the Lord wants him to do. One of which is to resign from his job and take up a full time ministry job in the denomination he attends; she threatened to divorce him if he takes that step.

I guess you are familiar with stories like, where men and women had spectacular manifestations yet didn’t check out the facts that they can see before marriage and today live with regrets.

Singles who are Christian, sometimes seek spectacular manifestation when they feel matured enough for marriage; they want to see visions, dream dreams and hear an audible voice saying “This is the person I have chosen for you.” Some singles have become susceptible to deception as a result of this desire for the spectacular. Wisdom demands that you know what the will of your heavenly Father is; He never told you to look for the spectacular but to simply walk in truth as written in the Bible.

However, if as single, you have these manifestations, do not just accept it as a leading from the Lord. Examine these manifestations in the light of God's word; if it conflicts with it, then the manifestation is not from God. When I was in the university, a Christian Brother said he heard an audible voice that said to him, “This is your wife”, concerning a lady that was not a believer on campus. He believed that it was the Lord that spoke to him, and he entered into relationship with her. The voice he heard was definitely not from the Lord, because God's word is emphatic on a believer not being unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

King Solomon declares that, “If you find a wife, then you have found a good thing. She shows that the Lord is happy with you.” Proverbs 18:22.

Getting the right person demands your active participation. Someone once said, “The gods will not do for man, what man can do for himself”; so play your part by opening your eyes, getting information about the person, interacting, etc.

Femi Fasanya is a talented author and speaker with a message that transcends barriers of age, culture and status. He is a TV presenter and a celebrated speaker in seminars. He is the founder of Singles Affair Ministry and is happily married to Doyin. He can be reached through the following relationshipmatters@gmail.com and +2348037257479, for counseling.

Never date your ex lover that is married.

Pat and Dave had been dating for quite a while, they love each other passionately. He was the love of her life. Everyone was waiting for the time they will make up their mind to tie the knot, they would have if not for the news of impregnating another lady (Shade) that Dave told her. According to him, the lady lured him to bed, and since she carried his baby there was a need for him to call the relationship quite since he will not want to have a child that will not have the care and love of both parents. Pat felt betrayed: few weeks later Dave got married to her (Shade).

A year later looking miserable, Dave came calling on Pat on his kneels seeking for her forgiveness and professing his love and letting her know that he made a terrible mistake getting married to Shade. He promised that he was going to call the marriage quite; Pat because she loved him decided to give him another chance since he said he will soon divorce his wife. It is over three years and Dave still keeps giving excuses why he hadn’t yet left his wife and presently she is carrying another pregnancy.

I guess you are familiar with this story; if you look around you, you’ll find singles that are in this trap. They didn’t follow the path of wisdom- stay away from married men/women.

As a single, do not fall into the trap of dating your former intimate friend who is now married. The lie that will be told by the person is, “The person that I married was a mistake, I should have married you, I still love you.” Do not fall for these words, if the person had made a mistake of marrying someone else, let him/her live with it, even if he/she married your best friend. Wisdom demands that you don’t go into relationship that will waste your time and in the end cause pain to you as a single.

Never forget that no one likes to share his or her spouse with another, you too will not like it if you are on the receiving end. Wisdom demands that you know that if a person is unfaithful to his/her partner; that person isn’t trustworthy and will do the same to you, if he/she eventually gets married to you.

King Solomon said, “But a man who does the sin of adultery is foolish. He is destroying himself-he himself causes his own destruction!” Proverbs 6:32.

Femi Fasanya is a talented author and speaker with a message that transcends barriers of age, culture and status. He is a TV presenter and a celebrated speaker in seminars. He is the founder of Singles Affair Ministry and is happily married to Doyin. He can be reached through the following singlesaffair1@yahoo.com and +2348037257479, +2348083906405 for counseling.